We need to swap the Romantic view [of marriage] for a tragic, and at points comedic awareness that every human will frustrate, anger, annoy, madden, and disappoint us – and we will (without any malice) do the same to them… compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition.
– Alain de Boton
Alain de Boton wrote a phenomenal op-ed in a New York Times column titled “Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person.” Its title is a drama queen but also really faithful to what he’s says in the piece. There’s no way to marry the right person. Once you marry someone, their moods will fluctuate, they’ll change and evolve, and they’ll very frequently irritate you and let you down. The article goes on to talk about how the true mark of love isn’t “how well you compliment each other,” but how well you forgive each other and stay committed to what you’re working on.
It’s an absolute treasure of a piece and I recommend that everyone types “Alain de Boton marriage” into their Google search bar to read it. I married my favorite person who rarely disappoints, and I still think a lot of it is good and true and could help out so many people I know.